Friday, May 29, 2009

Hello ALL!
I know, i know. I haven't been updating my blog. I am so sorry.
I've been really busy and pretty much caught up with almost everything. I
am on holiday for 2 weeks! Woots! But..ehh...I don't really like holidays just as much anymore.
I want class to resume ASAP! I am dying. Too bored prollys. I miss college!
Anyhow, I am in college nows! Hee! I met up with Mooo a while ago to have breakfast.
What's on the table? My favourite.. DIM SUM but ain't a satifying one.
Not up to standard i guess. I am going out with Davina laters.
Will update about it soons. =)

So as some may have already known, my GREAT GRANDMOTHER passed away just last Saturday afternoon. I was away from home so the news didn't really got to me and by the time I got home, I was too tired or to say, too exhausted to even move a muscle. I had a feeling that something was wrong somewhere and sorta guessed it but it was reality that I dared not to face. Reality is reality and what we can do to change it or to wish for otherwise is beyond our comprehension so on that Sunday morning. Dressed up all ready for the day, my mum called my grandmother and ask about something serious and I thought to myself, could this be it? Then I heard her say, "pak kam" in canto and I am pretty sure it was something to do with money so I thought to myself again, for wedding? who is getting married? So with much curiousity, I asked mummy, What happen? She said, Your great grandmother passed away. I didn't say a word in response to her statement. I stared out the window with the music from my ipod blasting in my ears hoping what I heard was rather wrong. I needed to collect myself. I wasn't sure what was i feeling right at that moment. I stared out blankly and tears start to roll down my cheeck. She is gone for real isn't she? I asked myself that question. I felt the hurt from the statement my mum made which contained words that pierced right through my heart slowing creeping in bit by bit. I went to church and I cannot bring myself to put on a smile. I couldn't. It was when Jenn asked me what happened that made me tear again. I keep focusing on God and that I should Thank Him for all that He has done be it good or bad. There were loads of question pondering in my head and i almost convinced myself that this isn't real. After mourning for quite sometime, I begin to accept what is right infront of me. That night, I had attend the funeral and the night after I didn't. I had to attend the last day on Tuesday as it was the day we are going to bury her. After many many ceremonies according to the chinese custom and religion, she can finally rest in peace. I am not sure of whether she is saved but I know He is merciful no? I am very extremely proud that I get to see my greatgrandmother eversince i was born. She is 94 and so we had to tie a red cloth around our waist. My gradmother said that it is an honour to wear the red cloth. My greatgrandmother survived to see 5 generations! I am the 4th generation btw. So here are some pictures of the ceremony. My greatgrandmother is so clever. She planned her own funeral and her own grave and to the finest details of the ceremony, she planned it all. I miss here already. What is going to happen next CNY? *snifss*

Walking to her burial spot.

My little cousin sister. She looks happy I know. Oh well, she is prolly too young to know whats going on.

This place doesn't look like a cemetary. They had a huge dragon water fountain. When I say huge, It is really huge and long.


\

All my grandaunties and uncles.





the view from where we were











I miss you and I'll always love you. I'll always remember your smile. Although you're toothless but your smile is still just as perfect. I'll miss you hugging me, kissing me and loving me for always. I'll never forget you and I hope you find joy and happiness at where ever you may be. Rest in peace great grandma. I love you heaps.

She is gone forever isn't she?

ChristinaChan

No comments: