Happiness overshadowed by grief,

Just as the dark clouds hides the rainbow.

The joyful girl you once saw,

Is now nothing but pain and more.

Overpowered by fear,

Of what was hidden now revealed.

But most of all reasons,

Is losing someone as dear as you.

Shiver down my spine,

And thoughts running through my mind.

I think I am the lost me,

Who can I confide in?

Fake smiles and silent giggles,

Underneath it all are nothing but tears.

Everything seems to move in slow motion,

Life seems as blank as the ocean.

Beneath the waters is a whole new world,

Filled with colours with a whole new dimension.

If I would look deep enough,

It would change my world around.

At the moment I have only one resolution,

One that never change beyond all reasons.

It is for this very reason that I am blinded,

Keeping me from seeing what is beneath the ocean.

Hey, I know you're torn in two. I know that making that decision is a very difficult thing to do. I have no idea what you think of me right now. Am i just an ordinary friend? an aquintance? Or a complete stranger? I cannot take this lost. NO. I cannot. Just as much as i want to support you and the decision you have made, I too want you to support my decision and wished you would just forget about everything. I know this is very selfish of me. I know and I am sorry. I understand why you would make that decision. I am just sad and heart broken of the things you have said, are saying and am about to say. I am also feeling so angry that all this have to happen.

Its like when you are about to reach that finish line and suddenly you just trip and fall. I am not satisfied. I feel very unsettled. If only time were to go by slower then the happy times will be longer. You broke a promise you made. I just dunno what to do. I feel so much for you but i cannot feel this way. I have to stop here if not tears will start rolling.

I am going to this post with a little something :

We were both young when I first saw you.

I close my eyes and the flashback starts:

I'm standing there
on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.

See you make your way through the crowd and say hello;

Little did I know

That you were Romeo;

you were throwing pebbles,

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."

And I was crying on the staircase,

begging you, 'Please, don't go.'

And I said,

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.

I'll be waiting;

all there's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.

We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.

So close your eyes;

escape this town for a little while.

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,

And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"

But you were everything to me;

I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'

And I said,

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.

I'll be waiting;

all there's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me; they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.

This love is difficult, but it's real.

Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.

It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

I got tired of waiting,

Wondering if you were ever comin' around.

My faith in you was fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town.

And I said,

"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.

I keep waiting for you but you never come.

Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-

"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,

"Marry me, Juliet. you'll never have to be alone.

I love you and that's all I really know.

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress;

It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

We were both young when I first saw you...

In College

Heys guys. Currently I am chilling in the library. Well thats after I've done my research for my investigative studies. ahaas. I have class in like 10 minutes or so..Okays.. To jessica its 2 minutes. She's right here besides me now watching me type this. =) anyways, I have to run for class now. I'll update on what went on today alrights? See yas!!

These are pixxies from yesterday pool...

Lyn ( she's the awesomest person to hang out with) , me and davina went to yum cha after that.

Me and Davina =)

Not forgetting, Sze jade and azam. Sorry for stealing your indo mee! ahaas. =)

Moving on to today..

During lunch.

So today we had this party thingy. It was pretty much okays. Signed for a number of clubs and society. So yeah. The weather was amazingly super duper trooperly HOT! I was in a spaghetti and a skirt and i was sweating like mad. I have seriously no idea how that "winter girl" tahan. Her whole being was practically covered with thick wooly clothing. Do you not know this is Msia? Haha! Well, lets not go there. So after the big party, me, matt and sarah went to pyramid. Me and sarah as usual being girls would shop a little here and there and get fascinated over petty cute stuff. So yeah. Matthew said that he was going die and he insisted on the standing in the middle policy. Haha! U still owe us a little something on your ear. Yes matthew? Ahaas. So we bought blings and earrings. And I really want this converse shoe. Not those rempit-ish kind. It was really nice. So yeah. Pretty awesome day i can say. =)

Sorry. It blurrr..the car was moving.

In the car. I was all dead.

Hmm..nice?? =))

So I have to go to bed now. I'll be going to the library tomorrow and to pyramid and not forgetting my LAN presentation. Oh gosh! Its gonna be a hectic tommorow!!!! Love love u. Till thens.

Today, today, what happened today? hmm.. college as usual. Had lunch with jing and sarah. Sprained or somehow twisted my leg. It was kinda hard walking around college. Up the stairs and down the stairs. Gosh! Anyways, after college me and my classmates when to asia club to play pool. Marcus thinks he's a pro and Davina loves playing pool. I was a noob okays? I admit. I don't know how to play pool. Sorry. =) anyways, i had 2 sensei today. Pretty good ones. Now i guess i am a pro in no time. *grins* i still need much practice. Oh yes. Much practice. I'll update pixxies soon? =) till then, don't miss me.

get out and leave me alone!

The LAN times. During Malaysian studies, we will take pictures and do some crazy things and teacher will always scold us. We are always her victims. All in all, i always have and had fun during LAN.

This is KRISHANT and SUREN! they were so shy to take a picture. funny. They are like the kind ones who would carry my books for me. =)

This is marcus. He is so gay sometimes but its fun having him around. =)

She is indeed my partner in crime. Davinaaa. =)

She's going to kill me when she sees this picture here. it reminds her of some bad stuff. hee!

Now those were the good times. Lets go on with the sad times. Now, who has the rights to comment about what you wear? Everyone has the rights right? okays, now if gossiping is talking behind people's back, it means snapping a photo of you without you knowing and making statements such as 'don't know how to carry herself well' or 'don't portray the right image' will be ethically wrong. Am i right?

Well, first of all, you have no effin rights to judge a person based on what that person wear. Lets just say if someone would to wear a combination of purple and yellow, will you judge that person by saying he/she is colour blind? NO. you don't. I did not wear a mini skirt or a spaghetti top alright? I wore pants! and a off shoulder top. Too revealing for you? well, i sure do hope that i didn't blind you with my 'revealness' and for the fact that you snapped a photo of me behind my back? You went abit overboard hun, don't you think? Not abit, but probably OVERBOARD.

I am just so effin mad right now that if you were here, i would slap you, i would just ask you to mind your own business. I wouldn't slap you for real of course, its just an expression, to show the degree of my anger. I obviously wouldn't do such a thing because its ethically wrong. Hmm..maybe some people just won't get that part of life working.

I shouldn't care about this actually but I just cannot help myself. I don't want to even want to try to impress you. I'm just sick and tired. I don't see a point in this. If you don't want me to be part of your life, not that i want to be then i won't even wanna be an acquaintance. People may ask me to chill and relax and that there are other people who would think the worst of you but the word people wouldn't be the right word to be used because its only YOU. YOU and YOU alone.

Just leave me ALONE! Get out of my life! Although you were never in it so just stay out and away. Far away from me. Owh and just a little tip, if you ever have thoughts of changing profession or your job, you might consider becoming a fashion critic. I am sure your potential will bloom and blossom!! Well that's if anyone would ever follow "dressing according to you" way. I feel like laughing now.

P.s : This post was written when I was in very bad mood and that I am very angry. Sorry if you feel offended with the words i use. I didn't mean to. I just want to express how i feel. Sorry again.

JUMBLE-MUMBLE

I have no idea whats wrong with me today,

Everything just seem seem so grey.

Its neither black or white,

This is just so gay.

Oh Lord, would you have mercy on me?

I really need You to erase this memory.

Send the rain to wash this sanity,

Keep me from this insanity.

This is just so sickening. I have no idea whats wrong with me. seriously. I feel so jumbled up. My emotions and thoughts and feelings. Oh mann.. This is no good. NOPE! not good at all. pffts! That's all for the night babeyhs! I'll update more tomorrow? I got Jan's 21st and the other random pixxies taken. =) Good Night Loves.

Daily Updates

Hello!

Let me just sum up this week alright? *thinks hard*

I guess now going to college is something I am used to already.

Like when it first started, waking up early was a hassle and the long hours of classes was just plain exhausting but now, I am already used to it.

It is of course much better than school. It doesn't give you that 'school' feeling.

Like last time during high school, I would have this policy where I would skip one day of school a week but now I just look forward to college but of course not the assignments part.

Anyways, Last week I befriended Davina and Jessica and all my classmates but this week, I made friends with Jay Lyn, Susanna, Stephanie (effer) and a bunch of Davina's classmates. Oh! Not forgetting Angel and Sze Jade.

They are nice and fun to hang out with. =)

Today was Wei Quan's birthday and I decided to get him like a card and a small cake for him. The whole class celebrated with him.We had lunch together at Little Taiwan.

He gave a little speech saying that he was touched because for all his life no one had ever celebrated his birthday like today. So sad. But I am glad we were able to make his life a lot funner! Ahaas.

Anyways, I think my classmate will be calling me by my Chinese name. They say its very nice. Swt..

Moving on, I had this city survival skill talk thingy today and oh mann.. it was disgusting and plain terrifying. It felt like I am going to vomit my intestines out. Gross! The pictures and stuff are just plain gross. So yeah.

So after that, I went to sunway with Mummy. I got a pair of jeans and a shirt. And had dinner at MFM. After dinner, My mother, made friends with this Indonesian waiter. WTC! It was plain awkward. My mum even asked us, as in me and him to exchange numbers. I was like what?! Whatever for? but later on my mum said that it was obvious that he wants my number because he was blushing. I was like, NO! Weird.

Okays so as we make our back home, we had this conversation, it is of the same effin' issue and wtc! She wouldn't let me go. She doesn't trust me and every statement was based on 'i feel' and 'i think' It is pretty obvious that its all about her! C'mon give me a break alright? How many times you want me to assure you? Its pretty frustrating when you are forced to make a decision you do not want to make but have to make it anyways and the hardest of all is trying to forget how sad you feel when you had made that decision. If you think this sad enough well you are wrong. My mother had to add on to my misery by reminding me of how sad i felt about that certain issue. This is not the first, but why?! Why must she always pound the same effin' thing every time? Why must she bring up something when its obvious that I don't want to talk about it and that it would cause us to fight? whys? why? You know what? Its pointless making sense with my mother. I just don't wanna effin' care about how she feels anymore. Its irritating. Anyways, I think I am going to do about Euthanasia for my investigative study. Wtvs! I don't really care about anything right now.

The BIRTHDAY BOY!!

Krishant, Wilson and Jolene

You Nen!

Jolene

Davina the dope!

Me.Dope.Jess

this two pictures were taken durin LAN! Malaysian studies. boring much. Hee! =)